My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
