you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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