Your tits are I can't wait for
Ambien. No doubt about it.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
