I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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