dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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