Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize