I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
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