Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
