You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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