Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
