Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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