I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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