Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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