After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
