The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
