His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
i now understand why vodka
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
