I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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