life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize