you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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