Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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