Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
you had me at cake vodka
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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