Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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