from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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