i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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