If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
