I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
