I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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