Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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