Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.

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