I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
