last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just gift wrapped bread.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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