Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
