I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
