im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
zippers are such a cool invention
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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