what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
