based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
