Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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