I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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