Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
When did angry sex become our thing?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
