you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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