People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
