Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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