I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize