that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Bring me that man meat
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
