Old men and throwing up are my life now.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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