I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I would ride that face into the sunset
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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