so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
