Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize