My boss' voice literally gives me gas
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm passing your future prison.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
