He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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