well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
