I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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