she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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