I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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