when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize