Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
