We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
