I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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