if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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