Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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