i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Randomize
