I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
