Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize